okay , i woke up today feeling very weak . when i stood up , i fell back onto my bed . low blood , dang . my lips were super pale i swear . dried like those crumple dried chilli . so i sat on my bed and thought . why am i like this . but no answer came to my mind . then i looked at xiao lang ... stared at it hard and tears came rolling ... believe it or not , i started talking to it like it was real ... i cried and cried , saying things that happened , i told xiao lang how i felt and everything that happened . and my last sentence was , daddy dont want us anymore ... i repeated it over and over again ... i cried for 2 whole hours ... i swear i couldnt control my tears ... it just kept flowing ... then i started screaming like a mad person . i really didnt know how to control myself . finally i decided to text sister asking if she's free to meet me cuz i really didnt want to be alone . sister forgo her couple outing just to go out in groups so that i wont be left alone in my house . thanks sister .. thanks to mandy too for coming over when you're suppose to go out w marcus alone . the night before , i placed your bracelet and ring into the bottle of stars you gave me ... but when i took it out and look at it ... my mind went , take it out and wear it , dont bother if he's wearing it anot . as long as you still love him , wear it , so i got it onto my wrist , and the ring on my chain as a necklace since i cant put it on that finger anymore . i went to bathe and got a bus to JP reached at 2.30pm . meet mandy and marcus first @ zone x . was listening to song thruout ... couldnt seem to smile at all . then went kopitiam to sit while waiting for sister , cz and xq . when sister came , she gave me a hug from the back , at that time , my tears started to store in my eyes ... but i was like , no , stop it . dont cry ... so i didnt ... then cz bought drinks for me as well as for sister ... thanks .. though i didnt really wanna drink anything ... ended up cz made me drink up the whole cup . okay , that was the only thing i drank since the night before ... hmms , then we waited for xq to come ... xq kept asking me if i wanna eat , and why i dont wanna eat . i really dont have any appetite . sorry . made 3 hearts out of paper and tore all 3 into half .. we sat there till 3 plus ... went to play basketball . didnt want to play at first .. but ended up solo-ing . my hands were weak , 30 secs pass and my arms were dead . then played the bishibashi w mandy and xq/marcus . ahaha . funny ttm . mandy won overall . (: sister and cz left for vivo first to collect the tix . so the four of us went over after the game . stood in the mrt .. and images of you popped out ... i tried my best to hold back my tears ... but after the train went past dover ... it flowed . sorry mandy/xq/marcus . ignored you three totally .. then i stood back up ... and yay , reaching outram . ._. went giant and xq bought danish pastries . LOL . and chips . ._. as usual la . then we went to gv , on th way there , cz & sister going giant to but things . LOL . watch shutter island @ gvmax . cool ttm . but the show was scary . for once i had no one to hide under ... ): had to live w my jacket ... was cold la ... see sister and cz so loving . 2 seats sit until both at 1 seat nia . ._. envious luhhs . ._. otw out to the exit , cz ask me , what i wanna eat . then i ask him , you want the truth or the lie ? he said both . so i said , truth is i have no appetite , lie is im not hungry . then went to kopitiam to eat ... didnt want to eat anything cuz i really didnt have any appetite ... but sister say if im not eating she's gonna buy porridge for me ! gahhh , i dont want porridge . so i ended up buying fried hokkien mee . ate half again . cuz i didnt feel like eating anymore . after that went to the roof to walk walk . hah . walk w xq & mandy in the water . marcus wearing shoe so cant come down . hah . then we went playground to play awhile ... missed those times when it was w you ... mrt-ed back after that ... was kinda emo-ing myself w my music ... then when mandy got off ... you came to my mind again ... and i cried . yes i cried . i couldnt hold back ... sister was behind me ... i texted her ... saying that i missed you badly . sister then came and hug me ... i really really missed you alot . though the whole day went past , i thought i would be too tired to even think about you . but i was wrong ... very very wrong ... sister hugged me from dk where till JE . then she went off @ CG . i cried to myself after they left ... all the way home ... when i reached 10th floor ... i went to the staircase and looked at it ... tears falled harder and faster ... memories ... sat there for awhile ... thinking about everything that happened there . went back home and now im here blogging ... everywhere i go is just images of you ... it hurts much to think that you dont care anymore ... haish . i miss you .

Labels: i miss you .